Ways to know you’re winning at uni

  1. You know exactly how long it takes to make porridge in the morning, so you can grab a few minutes extra sleep
  2. You’ve started peeling and cutting vegetables over the bin to save on washing up
  3. You’ve basically memorised the long (and complex) address people need to use to send you things
  4. You’ve made friends with the cleaners
    4a. The cleaners are now on such good terms with you they’ve left you a bottle of viakal for the kitchen
    4b. You’re using it
  5. You’ve stopped panicking when your flatmate almost sets off the fire alarm, and your first response is to leap for the tea towels and open the window
    5a. Simultaneously
  6. Your frozen goods/fridge rotation is bang up to date
  7. You’re on daily speaking terms with the administrative staff in the music department
  8. You’re recognised by most of the staff in the shop as the one who occasionally mass buys pot noodles
    8a. Even though you don’t do it anymore
  9. You sometimes walk to lectures with a massive mug of tea
  10. You’re no longer fussed when people stare into your kitchen while you’re having lunch
    10a. In fact, you sometimes wave at them
    10b. Sometimes they get embarrassed and stop
    10c. Sometimes they wave back
  11. You’ve mastered a ‘pity me’ face to persuade people to help you out in times of difficulty
    11a. Like the time when the launderette wouldn’t take any of your coins
  12. Your “I’m totally paying attention” face is better than ever
  13. You count going to bed before midnight as a solid achievement
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