Dogs

Dogs are pretty thick. Oh, they’re adorable and cute and they’re great for cuddles, but when it comes to intellect they have all the brains of a particularly confused four – year – old. This doesn’t appear to be something that improves with age either; the old dog is just as dim as the young dog. Maybe the young dog is following the example of the old dog, who knows?

All this week and last week we’ve been visiting my aunt who has two dogs. And every time we walked through the door the dogs got more and more excited, until today they reached a peak of exhilaration and sheer terror that led them to run around in circles barking and getting in the way of the cutlery drawer.

The situation was only worsened by the introduction of a third dog.

Meanwhile the cat roamed about, inciting terror in the ranks and generally getting underfoot at the worst of moments.

It would seem that the horror of people arriving pales in comparison to the horror of people leaving; after my aunt and mum went out to get something from the car, Giant Dog and Tiny Dog were inconsolable in their grief. This wouldn’t be so bad if their chief way to express grief wasn’t to leap at the nearest human and make increasingly sad noises.

I suppose the moral of the story is this: never leave or enter a house containing dogs. Or, alternatively, you could simply try buying a dog instead.

Marathons

Don’t get alarmed, I didn’t do an actual marathon. I just sort of got caught up in a marathon of Mock the Week. Seriously, Dave shows waaay too many reruns of that programme. Not that I mind, particularly, but even Dara is making fun of Dave. It’s kind of like, if even the presenter is making fun of it, maybe there’s something wrong with three hours of one programme? Perhaps? Or did I miss the memo that that’s what Dave is for? Because when it’s something like Mock the Week, any of the actual news commentary dates pretty quickly. “Last week Tony Blair bought a flamingo”. Wait, Tony Blair?!

I just happened to notice that basically all the comedians are WAM. Now, as far as I’m aware, being WAM doesn’t make you any funnier. It’s not a prerequisite to be male to be able to make jokes. Being white doesn’t make people laugh more. (maybe if they’re laughing at you?)

And then it made it even more awkward when there was a female comedian for once. Because invariable she’d be next to Russel Howard, and he quite often makes jokes that are pretty sexist. Just sitting at home on the sofa I was cringing. And yet none of the male comedians seemed to care or even notice?

*sigh* maybe one day there’ll be non-WAM comedians on my tv. I can dream.

Apathy

Today is a slightly odd day.

Yesterday I was basically brimming with energy. I was leaping up and down the stairs, I had enough energy to go and scrub all the limescale off the shower downstairs. I even managed to do Social Interaction with people and animals. That was cool.

And today it’s kind of… er

like, I just spent five minutes being slightly freaked out by my fingers. they don’t look right today.

It can be hard to work up the motivation to do things, even things that might give me more energy. Like get food. (but it’s two floors down bleh)

so I’ve sort of been sitting on my bed all afternoon doing not very much

 

Prologue

Ok, so this is the sort of prologue to the story I’m doing for my NaNoWriMo. And, I know it’s not very long – I’ve been spending a while working out character bios. So, enjoy. Hopefully it won’t be too unpolished.

“Hey Doc, what’s up with those lights?”

While the speaker in question had next to no understanding of the technologies involved, even going so far as to be completely ignorant of computer programming and electronics, he had something of a point. Those particular lights in that particular place spelt trouble. Well, technically they didn’t spell anything, being lights on a control panel. Metaphorically, they spelt trouble. Literally, they spelt something more along the lines of “. – ! . .”. For a given value of trouble, of course. In this case, the trouble involved as probably more along the lines of “a circuit has blown”. The man was not to know that, of course. The scientists tended to humour him when he came out with observations about the control panel; to openly criticise him tended to have a rather detrimental effect. The last person you want to irritate is the person who brings you your sandwiches and coffee every lunch without fail. To be without sandwiches is to be without science, as Dr Jefferson often said through a mouthful of BLT. At least, that was what they assumed she was saying. It can be hard to make out the precise words used when one is listening through a filter of bread.

It was with this in mind that one of the junior technicians stepped forwards.

“Ah, yes, Sam! Well spotted!” laughed the young man, carefully stepping over a cluster of cables that threatened to trip him. “You’ve done it again!”

Sam smiled, white teeth gleaming in the bright light of the halogen light-bulb. “I knew it! I knew it was something! What’s it mean?”

“Ah, well, these sensors indicate that a circuit has been disrupted,” replied the young technician, twiddling knowledgeably with a few wheels and dials, “and now that I have repaired the damage, everything should return to normal.”

“Crisis averted then?” As the young technician nodded, Sam laughed and gave a half-bow. “I’d better be off then. I don’t know how you manage without me, I really don’t…”

The young technician kept up his smile, although the keen observer might have noted it seemed a little forced as Sam left the room. Certainly, smiling in that fashion for extended periods of time might raise certain questions. Questions such as, what’s wrong with your face? Is it catching? He had noticed that sometimes, after very long days when Sam came in more than once, he tended to experience muscle fatigue in his face. That, to the young technician, did not seem normal, although he wasn’t very much inclined to ask anyone about it in case it turned out to be very much abnormal.

“Is he… gone?” The hesitant young woman, the young technician thought, was new as well. Samantha? Amelia? Something ending in –a, anyway. Samantha was even more nervous than he had been on his first day, but then that is to be expected when you make your grand entrance by walking into two separate members of the senior staff. He suspected she would never quite recover from the shame of it. “I know it’s awful… but I really can’t stand the man.”

The young technician could sympathise with this. He wasn’t too fond of Sam either, although he at least had the good sense never to express this thought within earshot of anyone else.

“There isn’t really anything wrong with the circuits, is there?” she continued, shifting a coil of cables from one hand to the other, and frowning prettily at him. “It might be worth checking, just in case…”

The young technician was not given time to comment on the matter.

“Come on, you two! Staff meeting in five!”

He simply shrugged at Martha – Linda? – before closing his laptop and leaving for the meeting. If there was a problem, which he doubted there was, it would have to keep until after the staff meeting. God, he hated those things. It was always the same, the young technician mused. If it wasn’t Dr Jefferson criticising them for not meeting their targets it was Mr Armando criticising them for leaving the lights on after they went home. And really, thought the young technician, if he wanted the lights left off so badly he could turn them off himself. Certainly the efforts of Mr Armando rarely met with success; in fact, they were so far removed from success that if success were on the table, the efforts of Mr Armando would be in the swimming pool in the back garden.

The young technician thought it wise to keep his thoughts on the matter to himself, however. It is not sensible to antagonise one’s superiors on the matter of correct protocol, even if one happens to be of the opinion that one’s superiors can go and do something anatomically inadvisable with correct protocol. Objectively speaking, though, even the young technician could admit that Mr Armando might have had a point. They seemed to go through light-bulbs faster than most people went through loo-roll. Perhaps they should stop playing football in the labs.

Still, the sooner the meeting started the sooner it could be over. The young technician settled back in his seat and assumed a look of vague interest. He had learnt fairly early on that looking too interested in these meetings made people think he had something to contribute, which he very rarely did. On the other hand, looking openly bored was hardly an improvement and tended to lead to attention of the wrong sort. The young technician was not particularly in the mood for more things to do.

“I see everyone is here,” began Mr Armando, shuffling his papers in a way that suggested he had practiced the manoeuvre in front of a mirror, possibly more than once, “so we will begin.”

“Thank you, Mr Armando.” Dr Jefferson really had a way of stopping other people from speaking. Something about her curt manner seemed to curtail any protests, and her diplomatic manner made it hard to voice an objection. The young technician could only admire her. Certainly, he had a tendency to accidentally offend people, although was it really his fault if everyone was so sensitive? He never meant to hurt anyone’s feelings, and yet they insisted on being upset when he mistook them for someone else or forgot their name.

“Is there something you would like to add?”

Everyone was looking at him. He supposed that meant he’d tuned out again. It was very easy to do, in this sort of meeting. The tedium got to one, eventually, even if one intended to listen. Even if one tried one’s hardest, there was only so long that budget cuts and annual targets could be interesting.

“Or perhaps there is something pressing you need to attend to back in the lab…?”

Ah. Dr Jefferson was really beginning to sound irritated now. If even the young technician could tell, she was probably reaching the end of her tether. He could vaguely see, out of the corner of his eye, that Laura – Isla? – was giving him a sympathetic look. Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear.

“Yes, I think that might be best,” frowned Mr Armando, shuffling his papers with a vengeance. Blimey, he must have been daydreaming for longer than he thought. Usually nothing ruffled Mr Armando’s feathers… although, come to think of it, there had been that time with the feather boas and the enormous stuffed owl… Ah, he was doing it again.

The young technician leapt hastily from his seat. “Yes! Yes, I have to… er, attend to, er, a circuit failure! Could be catastrophic, really. Ought to… ah, yes… I’ll just… go now.”

The young technician sighed to himself as he walked along the corridor. Really, if it hadn’t been for Sam, he would never have thought of that excuse on his own. But then again, he might not have had to if he could just pay attention for more than five minutes. What was wrong with him today? And of course, those lights were still flashing. Belatedly, it occurred to him that he might want to actually check that control panel.

Of course, he didn’t have time to before the world exploded.