Dress for Success

In a few weeks I’ll be going to the first formal dinner I’ve been to in probably a year. It’s not that there haven’t been opportunities for formal dining, because there have. There have been quite a few (I’d hate to be more specific, so I’m going to be completely non-specific: a few) but I’ve turned them all down. And the reason for that is simple: dress code.

It’s amazing how much of a role the dress code plays. In this case, the ever vague “formal”, which I took to mean “ladies wear dresses, men wear suits”. I can honestly say, hand on heart, I would literally rather punch a bear than wear a dress. OK, maybe I actually wouldn’t rather punch a bear, but you get my point. Dresses, as far as I’m concerned, are the work of a greater evil than I can comprehend. Why would you even do that? What’s the effing point?

My objections to dresses run from the simple “where the flip am I meant to put my phone” to “my legs are literally cold” to “I hope nobody minds a flash of my armpit hair”. There are quite a few objections to having to wear a dress. In my humble opinion, a dress is as much a practical suggestion as a banana wearing sunglasses. Cool, maybe. Sensible, no.

Now, I acknowledge that some of my issues with dresses could possibly be solved by tights and a sturdy razor. But frankly those are torture devices in and of themselves and only serve to compound the issue.

Which is why I’m so thrilled to have (finally) found a dress I can actually bloody wear.

eliza j dressLook at that. A dress with sleeves. SLEEVES. Good god I think I might have just found the perfect dress. Apart from two tiny things, it’s great.

the first is that it’s actually quite long, isn’t it? A bit taller than me. So high shoes may well be in order.

And the second is that it doesn’t entirely fit in a billowy sort of way, so I’m having to get it tailored otherwise things could get a tad embarrassing when I sit down. or lean.

all things considered though, this seems like the answer to all my prayers. So to speak.


7 thoughts on “Dress for Success

  1. Gnngh it looks so cool! The little cuff things, the lapels . . . it’s delightfully Gothic and . . .
    . . . sorry, I think dresses are really rad. Impractical, definitely, but so, so rad. Might use this one for Cartwright.

    • Apparently it’s kind of 50s. In a good way, I’m assured. But the lapels are effing awesome as far as I’m concerned. and the sleeves. sleeeves on a dress?? a nod to practicality????
      Oh, bear in mind it comes in a dark blue as well as black. So other colours are also feasible 🙂

      • Oooh, 50’s dresses were good. if you ask me, anyway. For whatever my opinion is worth. Sleeves!
        Duly noted. Cartwright might go for the dark blue as a nod to her policeness.

      • I quite like tea dresses although I’d probably never wear one for various reasons. Sleeeves!
        tbh I’d have gone for the dark blue if it weren’t for the black being half the price haha

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