Musicology is hard

Or is it just me?

The problem here may not be the musicology itself. I think it might just be the essays. (yeah yeah, I may be good at essays but I don’t enjoy them. so sue me) My specific problem, apart from the obvious can’t-sit-at-the-computer-for-ten-minutes-without-going-on-tumblr-/blogging-damnit, is this: perspective. I can’t use first-person perspective. And that’s fairly standard for essays, I know that much. I mean, I’ve only been writing them for… ooh, 8 years? maybe more?

This essay is a little different. Not only am I commenting on three very very subjective articles, I’m commenting on feminist texts, some of which are a little misogynistic and heteronormative, and it would probably be a good thing if I could announce my privileges at the door, so to speak. You know, “the views expressed herein are informed by my being female, white, ace, and I also went to a grammar school”. That way, anyone who hates the 11+ can just stop reading.

I jest.

Really though, how am I supposed to express my subjective opinion without use of the word ‘I’? ‘”This author believes that”? “The conclusion come to by this author is that”? It’s not really practical. And of course, it eats into my precious word count. For once I think an essay I write might be in danger of going over the word-limit, rather than being in danger of having too few words. Beige-prose. What can you do?

Getting really stressed for no reason

Before Christmas we had to hand in our formative essays. (‘Formative essays’ means that even if you do well it’s not going to count because a) it doesn’t count and b) it’s first year and first year doesn’t count) I managed to put it completely out of my mind until the other day when I got an email telling me to go and pick up my essays from the common room.

I didn’t panic. Or so I thought.

That night, I had a really odd dream. I dreamt that I got 0/100 on my essay, and the instructor emailed me the next day to say I failed the whole thing because of my AS. In the dream, I didn’t actually care that much about the essay. Actually, I think I was more focused on watching Star Trek or something, because I just completely ignored the email.

Needless to say, I didn’t get 0/100. (Actually, I got a first in that essay. So I definitely didn’t fail) But it got me thinking. First, I wasn’t consciously thinking about my essay results, but obviously I had remembered it on some level otherwise I wouldn’t have had the dream. Secondly, I have absolutely no concrete idea about how well I’m doing/how they mark essays at uni.

I’d say that next time I’ll be more calm because I know I probably won’t fail, but why change a winning formula?

Essaying on essay writing

It’s the end of term, and we all know what that means…

It’s essay time!

That’s right, the bit where you have to do essays on the things you’ve learnt over the course of the term. In my case it’s essays, because I have to do an essay for history of music, an essay for world music, an essay(ish) for creative ensemble performance, and some exercises for my composition module.

(As you may have guessed, this is me PROCRASTINATING. As I am writing this post, I am not a) composing, b) essay planning, or c) researching for my essay) Fortunately, I have now done all but two of the above things. And I’ve done all but one of my composition exercises, so that cool.

I mean the deadline is next Wednesday, NO PRESSURE RIGHT omg I might actually just die or something.

P.S. I have now finished all my assignments with one day to spare. They will know that I only had one day to spare because I had to say in one of my references when I accessed it HOSHIZZ

MERRY CHRISTMAS GAAAAAIS