Mock Recitals, with weirdly blurred vision on the side

Last Friday I performed in front of a very small group of people. It might even be accurate to say that the small group of people was in fact approximately 10 people, possibly even less. In fact, a reasonable estimate would be half a dozen. Still, it was a recital, of sorts. Everyone taking the solo performance module is required to perform in one lunchtime recital over the course of the year, and mine was last week. So, naturally, having had two terms to prepare myself and many weeks to get in touch with the accompanist, I chose to give the accompanist my music on Tuesday and practice for the recital for twenty minutes on Thursday. My middle name might as well be ‘Well Prepared’.

Yeah, OK, maybe that’s not actually very well prepared but you can’t tell me what to do, lecturer! 

As it happens, the recital thing went reasonably well. Apart from one tiny panic in the middle where I thought we were going to have the world’s shortest concert at 15 minutes (yeah…), the whole thing went swimmingly. Until the moment when I tried to stand up (to bow), realised I couldn’t get my right eye to focus at all, that I had a sharp pain on the right side of my head, and that things were a bit blurry on the right side of the room. So I sat down again. Anyway, long story short, the pianist was eventually able to persuade everyone that there was no more music to be had (at all), and they all left. All 6 (7?) of them.

I wouldn’t have thought any more of it, except that the same thing happened today when I played in the solo performance lecture, and apparently I looked a lot like I was going to faint???? And of course, the same thing happened at the beginning of term.

SO, Science Side of the Internet: ????????????

Update: Having talked to various medically up-to-date relatives (i.e. my mother), we’ve come to the conclusion that this was probably an example of a Lightning Migraine (which is less cool than it sounds). Fucking migraines. And I’m allowed to swear in this case because they are pretty flipping inconvenient.


Week 5 Day 1: The Day of the Sun

Today the sun came back. Not in the way that the sun does every day where it just sort of casually saunters above the horizon, but in the way that the sun sometimes does when it’s in the mood to troll you; suddenly the sun will shine brightly down on you just when you thought it was cold enough to wear a coat. Yesterday, it was. Today, wearing a coat is basically signing your own death warrant.

Fortunately, the sun saw the error of its ways and by lunchtime it had gone back into hiding, lurking ominously behind a cloud and threatening bloody vengeance upon the whole of humanity. But we’re ready for it; we’ve been preparing for this all summer. Soon it will strike. Soon.



Anyway, other things happened apart from my apparently completely losing my mind. Tomorrow I have to play in my solo performance lecture. It’s not too stressful (hopefully) because it’s basically just a masterclass where the lecturer tells us what we need to do to improve our playing and we unlearn all our bad habits. My worst habit currently is pointing myself completely off to the side and showing the audience my lovely left side. It’s clearly my best angle, but sometimes they do like to see your face apparently.

This performance would be a lot less stressful if my bassoon reed weren’t on its last legs from a combination of a) old age and b) me boiling it to combat the old age. The boiling sort of worked, but again, it also shrank the end that goes on the bassoon crook. Wish me luck for tomorrow, because I have a feeling it could all go horribly wrong. I mean, there’s a pretty huge chance that everything will go wrong and I’ll just end up fleeing for my life chased by a horde of angry pedestrians.

what’s even going on today. I’m so weird.